Letter to My Ex

I posted awhile back about letting my ex back into my life. I was warned again and again about how he would never change, and everyone was right. I felt that I needed to give him the benefit of the doubt and let him prove himself to me.
I can't begin to tell you how badly it hurts my heart and pride to have to admit that I was wrong. I just wanted, on the tail end of a failed relationship , to believe that people could change and maybe my prince was coming back for me.
I am embarrassed and hurt and let me tell you....it stinks. I really thought this would work this time. We have only tried to have a relationship for the past 6 years off and on. However...he did his famous vanishing act again and proved himself to still be the exact same man he always was.
I wrote him an email. He refuses to answer my calls and text messages or reply to my emails, but I needed him to know some things. I don't know if he will read it or understand it. I know he won't respond, but at least my feelings are out there and hopefully, he will one day begin to understand everything from my point of view.

Heres the letter:

Well. This is it, I guess.
I forgive you for everything. In spite of all the previous evidence, I believe you will turn out to be a good man. I know I won't be around to see it, but I really hope that I am right.
Thank you.
Thank you for showing me how strong I am and how capable of love and forgiveness I am. Thank you for showing me what kind of man, and for that matter just what kind of basic friend, I deserve.
I know exactly who I am and what I need, want, expect, and deserve out of life, since you became part of my world and heart 6 years ago.
I hope you find peace and stop running from love and what God has planned for you.
I'm sorry I wasn't the person to show you what you can be. I'm sorry I loved you too much. I'm sorry I kept pushing you to love me back.
You will never know the amount of space you take up in my heart and how much I learned from you.
I guess this is goodbye. I really do wish you the best in life. I just, I can't be a witness to it and possibly one day see you with another woman. It will hurt too much. Maybe one day we can have that truce I told you about. I don't know.
But as always and forever,

All My Love,
Tara



That letter should really go to every single man I have ever dated. Every guy who has hurt me or just made me not feel good enough. I really should just go ahead and make a bunch of copies and send them out. A Form Letter of sorts. But. With him...he really did teach me a lot about myself. I honestly can thank him for that.

I really don't have much else to say right now. My heart is tender and my emotions are on edge. I am strong and know I will come out on top. Right now though? I need a bath and a good book and some prayer time with God.
Love you my lovely readers!